Lost Wrongs
by xoVanilla-Bean
Summary: Sometimes, we just get so lost. Especially when that kiss just wasn't given. — RikkuGippal


Lost Wrongs:::.

* * *

There's nothing wrong with wanting a first kiss. There's nothing wrong with wanting a first kiss with someone that would never be willing to give it to her.

Right?

That's why it was called a crush. Because you'll want it, _so much_, but in the end, the person won't want to give it to you.

And just like that, the heart is crushed and it _hurts_, so much so that all she wants afterwards is to go to a corner and pout with teary, teary eyes.

She won't cry though. She _won't_. There's something inside that doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of tearing through her emotions so easily.

She's walking when she sees him, and the atmosphere's cold and chilly, numbing the internal tubes of her nostrils. She doesn't like this. This isn't her. Where was the _sun_ when she needed it?

He looks up, smirking that intolerable, disgusting line he calls lips. _Sensual_, he said. _One of a kind._

But no. Oh no, he couldn't give them to her.

She stops in front of him, grimacing like murder, decapitating his head on the wooden railing he was leaning on. Oh, what she wouldn't do to watch his body run around like a chocobo while she'd watch his blonde spikes chip on the cliff face.

His smirk will not leave. And then he has the gall to laugh.

"Cid's girl, you're-," and he's reaching out to ruffle her hair like the sun is shining, like she's here because she wants to be.

She twists his arm away, and she leaves three raw marks on his face, intensely blistering. Oh, why didn't his head fall off?

His smirk is gone when his lips curl down, down, down. She has the gall to laugh. And to think, how could she_ not_ win?

He's rubbing his cheek, eyelids blinking over leafy, veined orbs.

"_Not _crying," she finishes, but he doesn't understand.

You know, he never did understand her thought process and why she'd do things that were so drastic and spontaneous.

She leans, and she kisses him like the sun is shining, like he wants her to be doing this.

It's short, it's sweet, and it's right to the point. She's looking at him, triumph exploding in her hurricane eyes.

And then he realizes, because she's got it all wrong. He reaches out to touch her face, and she jerks back, like the sun kissed her too hard. He clenches his hand back, and he says, "Since when did you _cry_?"

She's blinking hard now. This shouldn't be happening, really, because as small as she was, she wasn't breakable. Really. She never broke. Not even when Tidus died. Nope.

But she can't hold it back anymore, because now there's snow falling. "Ever since you were born, you bastard. Just like the whole world."

He smiles this time, teasing nature arousing. "My, my, aren't we bitchy today."

She can't take it. She was stupid and rash, and _why did she let him have it._

She crunches through the snow, the way back from where she came. She was aware of how the crunch was mimicking the aorta right below the hollow of her collarbone.

His grip on her arm was like surran wrap. She doesn't glare, because she doesn't want to see his smile. So she smiles instead.

"Let go."

"No," he says. _No._

She crackles just like the lightning she is.

He lets go, but she's still there because he's kissing her. She's still sizzling though the pathway she came from, but she isn't walking it.

She was wrong. But no, not really. She wasn't really.

He's holding her shoulders in place, looking at her, all serious and macho, cocky and slightly arrogant, because all of a sudden, the situation is different.

He said no once. Maybe twice. But he was a coward, and she faced Sin. She didn't have any tearducts.

As emotional as she was, as breakable as she could be, as rational as she would never be, she was wrong.

As much as he didn't understand her thoughts, she didn't understand why he was smiling.

"Why on earth did you come?"

She gulps, guessing that victory with him wasn't going to be that easy. "Because I wanted to win." With him smiling like that, who wouldn't?

And he's shaking his head and chuckling. "Why, Cid's girl, I think you've already lost." She came, here, where he was. She _lost_.

Who knew the rules to this _anyway_?

He starts to look at her with something meaningful. She starts backing away slowly. Well, if she was wrong, so was that look on his face. But she's wondering desperately, and she can't help herself because she's_ lost_ already.

"Why did you say no?"

It takes him a while to answer.

"Because...," and then the meaningful look is gone. There's an awful breeze blowing. Oh, how it pierces her eyes.

He stops, like he doesn't know what to say. But she was wrong about the whole thing, because he wanted to say yes.

Oh.

"I wanted to." And he realizes too late how wrong _that_ was.

Her hands are on her hips while she's tilting with her jaw solid and bony. Her braids are all over the place, and she's never been more tan against the blizzard backdrop.

He kisses her again and again and again. Now, he can kiss her like he wanted to, because he's all macho and serious, cocky and slightly arrogant. He isn't a teenager anymore. He can live up to something, and the crown on her head wasn't making him piss his pants like it used to.

"Because I _love_ you," but he's making himself want to piss his pants right now.

Rikku looks up at him, almost falling backwards. She has never been so lost in her_ life_.

* * *

author's notes -  
i guess that i like to make Gippal say 'I love you' because it's kind of out of character. (actually, they probably both were, being honest. /is shot)  
but i guess that i make Rikku do that to him sometimes.  
reviews are love. :)


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